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Top 10 things to do with a burnt out lightbulb
10. Don't change it, just say you are conserving energy.
9. Carry it to business meetings, and then when someone asks you a question, hold it over your head and say you are all out of fresh ideas.
8.Try to recharge it.
7. Collect a boxful, then sneak into a neighbors house and change all of their bulbs and tell them them their electricity was cut off.
6. Mount it and watch it instead of the TV.
5. Drop it in the community pond and see if it floats.
4. Take it to a rock concert and hold it in front of you and wave it around (because you are too cheap to buy a lighter).
3. Smash it with a hammer.
2. Sell it to a stupid kid on the street.
1. Hold it upside-down in the middle of a flat field during a thunderstorm, wait for lightning, and then watch it glow!
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Top 10 things to do with a glass of water
10. Drink it.
9. Eat it.
8. Dehydrate it.
7. Pour it over your head and say you just came in from a downpour.
6. Pour it over your head and call yourself stupid.
5. Watch it evaporate.
4. Fund a project to research the process of evaporation.
3. Go swimming!
2. Give it a name and call it an ocean.
1.Pour some sea monkeys in and watch them grow!
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Top 10 things to do with a coat-hanger
10.Scratch your back.
9.Make the frame for a butterfly net.
8.Put it on the roof as a lightning rod.
7.If you are on a tight budget, use it as a halo in a Christmas Play.
6. Go Fishing.
5. Make a TV antenna.
4. Get some bubble solution and blow some BIG BUBBLES!
3. Unlock your car.
2. Budget braces for the kids!
1. Hang it and a few others in an empty closet and just look PLAIN STUPID!
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Top 10 places to lose your keys
10. On Public transit.
9. In that motel room...
8. Inside your car.
7. Inside someone else's car.
6. In an airport terminal halfway across the country.
5. In a dark movie theatre.
4. On a long fishing trip.
3.You don't own anything that requires a key and you just forgot.
2. They're with your marbles.
1. They're not lost - your pet monkey just stole them!
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Top 10 things to think about during a boring car ride
10. "Did I remember to flush the toilet?"
9. "Did I remember to feed the monkey?"
8."What is the true purpose of building a Taco Bell Express INSIDE a Taco Bell?"
7. "What is that strange object wedged partially up my behind?"
6. "Where do baby (monkeys) come from?"
5. "Hot OR Mild?, Hot OR Mild?, Hot OR Mild?"
4. "What is the meaning of life?"
3. "Sale on beer isle 12?"
2. "What is the purpose of a self-cleaning dishwasher?"
1. "How many licks DOES it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie pop?" and "Why In the World Do I Care?"
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Top 10 things you'd never expect to see in a "normal" day
10. A cop at Dunkin Donuts investigating a robbery.
9. A fire department on fire.
8. A sale on beer before SuperBowl Sunday.
7. A vegetarian eating at a steakhouse.
6. An oversized rodent carrying a dead cat in its mouth.
5. Republicans and Democrats agreeing on something.
4. A Nicorette Ash Tray.
3. A tree hugger stapling "Save the Trees" posters to trees.
2. A teenager doing their homework on Friday night.
1. A lemonade stand charging you sales tax.
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